Always think twice before swinging around your authority. A cocky Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. “I need to inspect your farm,” he said. The old farmer replied, “You better not go in that field.” The Agriculture representative said in a ‘wise’ tone, “I have the authority of the U. S. Government with me. See … [Read more...]
17-year-old doesn’t understand her boyfriend’s comment but her Dad certainly does!
One evening, a beautiful 17 year old daughter came home, feeling slightly worried. Her dad noticed that something was wrong, and repeatedly asked her if there was anything she wanted to talk about. Finally, the daughter revealed what had been bothering her. Her new boyfriend had said something that she hadn’t quite understood. “He said that I have a beautiful chassis, … [Read more...]
Husband and wife go to marriage counselor for an unusual solution
A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 grueling years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is, and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman sits … [Read more...]
Atheist gets attacked by a bear and finds himself praying for a “divine intervention”
Better think twice about what you wish for because sometimes you get exactly what you want! An atheist was walking through the woods admiring the nature around him. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals,” he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look, and suddenly saw … [Read more...]
Farmer brings his rooster to the movies and wants to buy him a ticket
She's seen everything... or so she thought! A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie. As he approached, the ticket agent asked, “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?” The old farmer said, “That’s my pet rooster Chuck. Wherever I go, Chuck goes.” “I’m sorry, sir,” said the ticket agent. “We can’t allow animals in the theater.” The old farmer went around … [Read more...]