Like our mothers and grandmothers before us, we should always tell our children to “never judge a book by its cover.” This little saying speaks volumes, and it’s not just said to encourage children to expand their literary horizons.
It is human nature to make snap judgement about other people, but those judgments can often be horribly incorrect. One good mother has received the malicious stares of judgmental parents too many times while pushing her 5-year-old daughter in a stroller. Instead of assuming there must be a logical and possibly painful reason for an unhappy little girl to take a ride in a stroller that barely fits her, most people stare and murmur “she’s too big for that thing!”
Tired of all the nasty glances and hushed judgement, Rachel Bitmead wrote an open letter and posted it to The Mighty finally revealing the sad truth about her daughter’s condition. Consider her letter the next time you see another mother doing something you don’t understand.
This open letter is to all of you that have looked and judged my daughter over the last few days — looking, frowning at her, those little whispers behind my back thinking I can’t hear you. Come and talk to me and ask me why my daughter is in a stroller that she is “too big” for.
The reason Miss M, my daughter, is sitting in a stroller (not looking happy I may add) is because she has joint hypermobility syndrome. When she walks more than usual or when it’s too hot, she has pain in her lower body. Her legs, ankles and feet are very painful. So she actually cannot walk far at all without needing to be picked up. Even when I pick her up, she cannot put her legs around me in order for me to carry her, because she does not have strength in them during this time. Plus, to be honest, my back cannot cope carrying her for long periods of time. She is on pain medication and anti-inflammatory medicines to help her until she starts to feel better…”
She doesn’t always need the stroller. She has gone an entire year without needing it, but since our holiday she has walked too much and over-exerted herself. I didn’t think about bringing it when we went away. I wish I did, because poor Mr. B had to carry her around most of the time.
When we are out, I have found myself talking out loud to Miss M about her legs. I’ll ask her, “How are your feet are feeling? Has the pain medication helped yet? Hopefully you’ll be walking around again in no time.” I do this just so I can give complete strangers reasons as to why Miss M is using a stroller.
And I am fed up with it…”
A photo posted by Rachel (@lifeofmyfamilyandme) on
So the next time you see a child in a stroller and think he or she looks “too old” to be in it, don’t judge or assume the child or parent is lazy. Don’t whisper behind the parent’s back or frown at either of them. For one, a child being in a stroller has nothing to do with anyone else, and two, the child might actually have a reason to be using one.
From a fed up mum with a daughter who can’t walk at the moment without being in pain.”